she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
