i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
