speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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