But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
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