I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize