Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It's just like the Real World with babies
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
