Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better

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  (713): i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better http://tfl.nu/apc9
  Replies (3) Good night (789) Bad night (2217)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  You realize it's finals week?

  (408): View more from California

  Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.

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  (559): You realize it's finals week? (408): Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first. http://tfl.nu/rjos
  Replies (19) Good night (6335) Bad night (911)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up

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  (586): you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up http://tfl.nu/umx5
  Replies (15) Good night (888) Bad night (4346)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.

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  (413): So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge. http://tfl.nu/jdua
  Replies (20) Good night (2184) Bad night (3787)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...

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  (303): Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked... http://tfl.nu/a2s8
  Replies (19) Good night (1177) Bad night (3807)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"

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  (631): Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it" http://tfl.nu/tnve
  Replies (40) Good night (5305) Bad night (5100)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.

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  (770): the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY. http://tfl.nu/d6x2
  Replies (6) Good night (1319) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode

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  (212): He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode http://tfl.nu/pfoq
  Replies (26) Good night (2136) Bad night (577)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.

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  (917): i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle. http://tfl.nu/wmdi
  Replies (11) Good night (929) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.

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  (360): I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved. http://tfl.nu/qhmk
  Replies (5) Good night (796) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.

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  (712): Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back. http://tfl.nu/llib
  Replies (11) Good night (454) Bad night (735)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually

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  (408): This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually http://tfl.nu/dqmb
  Replies (2) Good night (678) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire

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  (404): Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire http://tfl.nu/4cfz
  Replies (3) Good night (319) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.

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  (708): You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat. http://tfl.nu/s6dc
  Replies (1) Good night (393) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?

  (1-419): View more from Ohio

  .....fair enough

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  (419): it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong? (1-419): .....fair enough http://tfl.nu/x8b2
  Replies (0) Good night (494) Bad night (205)

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