Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything http://tfl.nu/8gpe
  Replies (14) Good night (4310) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person. http://tfl.nu/uqdv
  Replies (54) Good night (1781) Bad night (5859)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her. http://tfl.nu/kcyk
  Replies (15) Good night (5008) Bad night (1219)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters. http://tfl.nu/rpkb
  Replies (12) Good night (2603) Bad night (957)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Sadness tears and throw up everywhere

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): Sadness tears and throw up everywhere http://tfl.nu/ierj
  Replies (5) Good night (737) Bad night (2170)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule. http://tfl.nu/1636
  Replies (4) Good night (1159) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness. http://tfl.nu/5j3m
  Replies (17) Good night (2692) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm

  (1-757): View more from Virginia

  Dick in a box?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm (1-757): Dick in a box? http://tfl.nu/x7sn
  Replies (13) Good night (4526) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child. http://tfl.nu/ltf5
  Replies (17) Good night (835) Bad night (2394)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You okay?

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): You okay? (1-412): I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread http://tfl.nu/1951
  Replies (3) Good night (1009) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Thank you for caring about my cervix.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): Thank you for caring about my cervix. http://tfl.nu/akl3
  Replies (1) Good night (606) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think... http://tfl.nu/7nf2
  Replies (11) Good night (337) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite. http://tfl.nu/sc9k
  Replies (1) Good night (866) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (863): I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever. http://tfl.nu/l0yy
  Replies (4) Good night (533) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship.. http://tfl.nu/vijk
  Replies (1) Good night (363) Bad night (220)

Randomize