Texts From Last Night

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  (940): View more from Texas

  I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.

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  (940): I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you. http://tfl.nu/qbhx
  Replies (11) Good night (805) Bad night (3805)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.

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  (610): doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better. http://tfl.nu/6sgi
  Replies (70) Good night (3997) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.

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  (828): I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995. http://tfl.nu/siku
  Replies (17) Good night (2716) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.

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  (440): Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true. http://tfl.nu/r2p3
  Replies (19) Good night (3573) Bad night (1406)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world

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  (972): Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world http://tfl.nu/83f8
  Replies (36) Good night (7410) Bad night (1236)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  Eco-friendly.

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  (515): I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly? (1-515): Eco-friendly. http://tfl.nu/yssm
  Replies (29) Good night (2365) Bad night (4831)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  just looked at his mug shot... not really my type

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  (208): just looked at his mug shot... not really my type http://tfl.nu/kmub
  Replies (5) Good night (887) Bad night (4192)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?

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  (631): I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic? http://tfl.nu/b6xp
  Replies (6) Good night (2281) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I had to brake up with him.

  (602): View more from Arizona

  In my experience drinking helps.

  (480): View more from Arizona

  You dont want to know why?

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Not really. I want to drink.

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  (480): I had to brake up with him. (602): In my experience drinking helps. (480): You dont want to know why? (602): Not really. I want to drink. http://tfl.nu/mwqo
  Replies (27) Good night (4729) Bad night (1126)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay

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  (304): I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay http://tfl.nu/d341
  Replies (18) Good night (672) Bad night (1717)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.

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  (817): I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information. http://tfl.nu/ct01
  Replies (3) Good night (1182) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.

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  (910): Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain. http://tfl.nu/bmw5
  Replies (10) Good night (2127) Bad night (818)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.

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  (616): i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget. http://tfl.nu/97ka
  Replies (7) Good night (1586) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.

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  (505): Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot. http://tfl.nu/8yik
  Replies (3) Good night (630) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend

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  (208): Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend http://tfl.nu/cr82
  Replies (0) Good night (664) Bad night (285)

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