I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?