Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.

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  (248): i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid. http://tfl.nu/3rci
  Replies (3) Good night (776) Bad night (587)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  shes about as inviting as chlamydia

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  (778): shes about as inviting as chlamydia http://tfl.nu/iikb
  Replies (2) Good night (740) Bad night (3378)
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  (909): View more from California

  Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.

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  (909): Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome. http://tfl.nu/gu2z
  Replies (29) Good night (5445) Bad night (752)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job

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  (904): I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job http://tfl.nu/0l9r
  Replies (30) Good night (1029) Bad night (4300)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.

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  (540): Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply. http://tfl.nu/723h
  Replies (20) Good night (5397) Bad night (1127)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.

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  (818): Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you. http://tfl.nu/btkl
  Replies (11) Good night (6919) Bad night (1303)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.

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  (515): in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch. http://tfl.nu/88o7
  Replies (20) Good night (10520) Bad night (1173)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.

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  (949): Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless. http://tfl.nu/j4zx
  Replies (4) Good night (2299) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.

  (315): View more from New York

  They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.

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  (315): So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers. (315): They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair. http://tfl.nu/om27
  Replies (10) Good night (1725) Bad night (679)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey

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  (401): There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey http://tfl.nu/j5zf
  Replies (9) Good night (2678) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".

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  (603): From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon". http://tfl.nu/l6av
  Replies (7) Good night (1722) Bad night (1013)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.

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  (928): Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week. http://tfl.nu/3dmv
  Replies (6) Good night (1586) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  WTF DUDE?

  (323): View more from California

  Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this

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  (213): WTF DUDE? (323): Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this http://tfl.nu/ooar
  Replies (6) Good night (1293) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Naked.

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  (202): I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out. (202): Naked. http://tfl.nu/m66x
  Replies (1) Good night (644) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".

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  (501): Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow". http://tfl.nu/7f9c
  Replies (2) Good night (334) Bad night (519)

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