I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
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REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
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all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The adults are the big ones right?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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