Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The air was thick with penises
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize