i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
