If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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