Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
