if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
