just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
