Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
