I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
