Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
