If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
