You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
