Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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