planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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