I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
There's a naked man in my car right now.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
