Slut skills are useful in every country.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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