I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
