You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
