I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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