I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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