You can't special order awesome
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
