What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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