Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
