put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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