If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
My balls are so social today.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
