Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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