Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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