tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
