She just used a chaser for red wine.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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