apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
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