he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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