you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
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Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
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I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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