I got chris browned last night
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I would fuck him just for his dog
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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