some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
