I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
