1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
