dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
