my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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