I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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