I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
