While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
