if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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