If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
