these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
