Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I want to have your abortion
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
