Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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