my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
