Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
