does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
