So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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