porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
