I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
