well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
