So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
